Communication between father and child after divorce

Assoc. Prof. Dr. Çağla Gür, academic staff of the Preschool Teacher Education Program of the Department of Basic Education, Faculty of Education, Cyprus International University (CIU) discussed the increasing divorce rates and reflections of the father factor on the child after the divorce.

It was recalled that in most cases the child stays with the mother after the divorce and the father continues to live separately.

There are fathers, who show enough interest in their children after divorce. Also, there are fathers who cannot communicate in a qualified manner: "Sometimes fathers can fall into a position as if they were divorced from their children," said Gür.

Giving examples of the fathers' experiences with their children after the divorce, she mentioned that many fathers continue to support their children financially but cannot communicate effectively.

Assoc. Prof. Dr. Gür also drew attention to the fact that some children stay away from their fathers with the guidance of their mothers. In such cases, fathers also stay away from their children and are unable to communicate because they do not know how they should behave.

Gür pointed out that expecting children to have the same mentality and expectations as their parents may result in frustration and added: “It is important for fathers to study good resources or read books on how to spend effective time with their children according to their age. They can also attend seminars on these issues or receive consultancy services”.

Assoc. Prof. Dr. Gür stated that to be a good parent, people should not act on the expectations of others: “It is important that they should spare time for themselves determining how they feel peaceful and natural.”

The father factor on the child has great importance, said Gür and children get upset when their fathers are away; even the adolescents are angry and seem unwilling.

Assoc. Prof. Dr. Gür emphasized that we should always remember the importance of father-child interaction and the great need of children for their fathers.